Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Empress Etiquette: Underwear Edition


When spending the day at a very public and well populated beach, it is NEVER acceptable for a fully grown member of the male species to strip off his kit all the way down to his tighty whities, dive into the ocean, and then proceed to play a vigorous game of Frisbee all whilst wearing completely see-thru white underwear and running to and fro in ankle deep water.

So Attention All Male Offenders: No one wants to have their beautiful ocean scenery jacked up by repeatedly seeing some dude’s nasty wet butt crack or disgusting hairy ball sack bounce in and out of view. Please keep your man junk covered or stay the heck home! That is all.

Happy Hump Day my lovelies!
xo The Empress

27 comments:

  1. lol.. fortunately the beach I frequent is very proactive about removing such eyesores from the premises.

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  2. Empress I am bowing down to you. Guys just don't know how much of a turnoff that really is. Gross is gross and sexy is sexy and wet white underwear is not sexy!!!! Hugs my friend!!

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  3. @li: Lucky you! I'm still puzzled as to why the park rangers/life guards let the guy carry on like that.

    @Bouncin' Barb: While I'm a big fan of nice ding dongs, wet underwear at a public beach in front of kids was really crossing the line.
    Hugs right back at you!!

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  4. I'm getting a visual....and it ain't nice. lol
    Just found your blog tonight. Love it!

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  5. I thought the ladies wanted to see my junk?

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  6. @David L Macaulay: Hence the issue with this particular guy and his choice of attire : )

    @sherri: Thanks so much for stopping by, chiming in, and for the blog love. It always makes my day to discover new readers. Apologies for the unpleasant visual. Don't want to scare you off already ; )

    @Oilfield Trash: The ladies DO want to see your junk but just in the privacy of one's home/behind closed doors. Besides if you personally want to show off your naughty bits to the world then definitely charge for it my friend!!!

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  7. Wait wait... Who in this day and age still wears tighty whiteys??? That is, people under 6 or over 70...

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  8. Holy hell...I just gagged a bit. That is disgusting. Who goes to the beach that unprepared? What, they didn't know it would be hot and they'd want to get wet? Leave your freaking shorts on! That is so beyond okay! I am so sorry you had to see that.

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  9. Oh yeah I agree with you I can remember when my hubby would wear budgie smuggles and when you are young and fit not such a bad look but when you get older and fatter then you really need to start wearing something else. I also do not like seeing really fat women in a two piece swim suit.......

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  10. When you live on a tropical island, having a pair of trunks ready is mandatory so I can gladly say I've never had the displeasure.

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  11. @Lost.in.Idaho: Or this particular guy!

    @Jewels: Thank you. It wasn't pretty.

    @Jo-Anne Rambling: If only this had been a swim suit, even a budgie smuggler, then at least it wouldn't have been see-thru.

    @kmcaffee: I second that!

    @Vinny C: Very lucky for you and your eyeballs : )

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  12. I think that dude gets a kick out of knowing that his scrotum is visible and his forest of hair is soaking wet. Maybe he's actually a pedophile and he's hoping an innocent little girl will approach and ask what he's hiding in his briefs.

    Ew.

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  13. I would only do so on a bet. For lots of money. Lots.

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  14. I'm with Lost, I haven't worn tighty whities since I was about 6.

    On the bright side, at least he wasn't completely naked.

    Next time, go up to him and tell him it looks like he sat on something rusty. I bet he'll put something on over top.

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  15. I said I was sorry. I'll keep that in mind for next time.

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  16. Not liking the B-hammocks are ya? haha

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  17. @Lemons Don't Make Lemonade: Whatever he is, his little show for the public was not very attractive.

    @Danger Boy: How much? ; )

    @Not the Hero: He might as well have been naked in those wet cotton underpants. But I like your suggestion all the same.

    @Joshua: No worries. If you've got it, flaunt it!

    @Copyboy: I would have much preferred a speedo that wasn't see-thru to his pair of soaking wet Haines briefs. Nasty!

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  18. EWWWWWW! It's never one of the muscle guys with rock solid abs, is it?!?

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  19. Honestly! Even if he were hot and had a nice bod, which I'm assuming he didn't, most girls wouldn't want to look at that.

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  20. That visual is making me beyond happy that I don't live anywhere NEAR a beach. lol

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  21. Haha, I'm guessing that you witnessed this recently? Your poor eyes! :P

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  22. Ewww gross i need a brain wash now... that visual is so not good..YUCK!!

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  23. Wet butt crack and hairy ball sack? Empress! I do believe you're turning me on.

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  24. Vommmm.... thanks so much for the visual my friend - well on my way to talking to the porcelain god...

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  25. @laughingmom: Actually his physique wasn't too bad he was just very hairy and had no common sense!

    @Barsola: Right you are!!!

    @J.Day: Yes, cow crap makes for a much better visual then what that dude was sporting ; )

    @linnykins: Indeed. Definitely would have preferred something more appealing like your gorgeous photography : )

    @becca: Major thumbs down!

    @Mrs. Hyde: Hello my bloggy sister! Thanks for stopping by. Only you would make me laugh by saying this was a turn on.

    @Molly Malone: Sorry to gross you out there, especially since I haven't seen you around these parts for a while. Please let me know what sort of visual would be more to your liking.

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